Episode 1: 'Introductions & The Snickers Hook-up'

Hi. Lee’s the name, and Reaping’s the game (and what a depressing fucking game it is too). Many of you English-speaking Flips might refer to me as a Grim Reaper. Yes. I said ‘a’, as in ‘one of many’. You didn’t seriously think it was just one severely anorexic bloke ushering all the post-mortal souls off, did you? Same deal with the Santa Clause, although those guys have an excuse to stop for a snack, keeping up appearances and all.

Ok so that’s one introduction and two myths unravelled in a single paragraph. At this rate I’ll be able to explain the whole ‘42’ thing sooner or later.

Have you quite finished? Some of us are trying to sleep.

Oh yeah. That’s Ruby. She’s a Tooth-Faery (spell it the other way at your own peril). Lovely girl after she’s had a good night’s kip. Why you ask did she choose a career path dominated by perpetual night-shifts, or as I like to call em’ ‘The Graveyard Shift’? Simple. She didn’t. None of us chose our path. Yeah yeah fate’s a bitch and all that. Ours, like most jobs, become palatable once you get past the initial revulsion and (in some cases) three hours dry-gagging.

You want a cuppa, Lee?

Cheers Flip. That’s Phillip, or as we call him Flip. He’s a Flipsider (i.e. persona non-speciale). He seems happy with it. Now, you’re probably asking yourselves what a Reaper, a Tooth Faery and a human are doing living together. Want me to re-phrase it in the form of a joke: A Flipsider, a Reaper and a Tooth Faery walk into a bar-

Jesus Christ Lee! One more peep out of you and I’m going to ram these pliers-

Oops. The Kraken awakes. Anyway. The answer you’re searching for is the same as why a lot of post-grads our age stack up in one pokey inner-city gaf: money (or lack thereof). Now you might think that Reaping or Tooth…Faery-ing(?) rakes in the doh. Sadly the accounts department prefer to think of them as more of a vocational pass-time. Oh, they pay for travel (and the occasional Snickers. I know a guy. Shh. Will tell you later.) but that’s about it. Not quite figured out where the money comes from (answers on a post-card) but it doesn’t mean there isn’t nightly speculation.

Post for you mate.

Cheers. Please not a bill. Not a bill. Come on promotion. Give me money! Lemme see the stacks of green! I wanna get me some…

What?

Lee? What’s the matter?

I’ve, um, been…fired.

(...bollocks.)